Fuck a Duck

An ode to duck fucking to the tune of the popular children's song, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"


Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck. 
Screw a kangaroo. 
69 a porcupine. 
Orgy at the zoo. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck. 
Screw a kangaroo. 
Finger an orangutang. 
Orgy at the zoo. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck. 
Screw a kangaroo. 
Eat a grape, rape an ape. 
Orgy at the zoo. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck. 
Screw a kangaroo. 
Masturbate with a snake 
Sunning at the zoo. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck 
Gently in the ass 
Roll around on the ground 
Until you cum at last!

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The next chapter...

So there comes a time when everyone has to start a new chapter in your life and start moving in a new direction. This new direction might be a new job, it might be a new girlfriend or even getting over an old flame and it might even be moving to a new town, city or country. What ever it maybe, change is good.

You get these feelings in the pit of your stomach that something is changing but you are not sure what, almost like a sixth sense. I guess you just have too grab the bull by the horns and run with it.

I am getting that feeling, something is changing, I'd like to assume it is for the best but only time will tell but if anyone knows what my new direction is please let me know.

Happy last day of the month

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ATG's New blog

All Thingz Green has gone social in keeping up with the world as it is constantly changing. Please would you have a look at it, share it with your friends, colleagues and family members who have a garden as they will be interested in ready what is being said. Also there will be ideas posted for all garden lovers to help bring your garden alive for the up and coming summer.

If you do know someone who is looking for a Gardener / Landscaper please get them to contact ATG directly. Please go to The Contact Us page

Please al

Bars In Wimbledon

Bars In Wimbledon

Now I normally I am happy go lucky, bit of humour on Scabenga but today I have a bit of a grip about the State of Wimbledon on a whole and the bars and clubs in the area as well. I am not sure if any of you have noticed this but I have seen a lof of chavs moving into the area and with the chavs comes trouble. I am not judging, I am looking at chavs as a whole and the reputation that they have built for themselves. The saying "You make you bed, you sleep  in it". 

With regards to the Bars in Wimbledon, they are filling up with these chav people and I will be honest with you, they are not nice to drink, party with and I am not wanting to go out there as I am just not having fun any more. Some bars that I am talking about are Edwards, Po Na Na, Watershed, Henry J beans and to some extent Slug @ Wimbledon. To be honest Slug is the last bar that I will go to in Wimbledon as I do not want to give them my money any more....Fuck them. 

I found this page on Facbook and I think it is very relevant to this post, it is titled Ban Chavs. Please, lets all like it and let these bastards know that they are not liked. 

Have fun in Wimbledon.....NOT

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Smashing Targets Scabenga Style

So the month is drawing to an end and as in all sales jobs you are targeted. No it is down to each sales rep to find and close their own leads.

For me this month I am on track to smash target for the first time in a long time. The last time I really and truly smashed target was at Qype and I must say it feels good to do it again.

I will keep you posted as too how the end of the month actually finished.

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Miss Qs - Pool in Earls Court

I am like a lot of people out there, guys and girls who like a good game of pool but don't play so often because most of the clubs are dirty, have a bad image and the clientèle are not so up there with my taste of people. But wait people I have found a club that has good table, staff are friendly and they have events going on at the venue all around pool. 

The club is Miss Q's and they are in Earls Court. The club has recently been taken over and had a refurb so it is very clean and smart. They have 3 pool tables, bar with coaktails, a restaurant and it turns into a nightclub in the evenings. I have been here and I will definitely be going back for pool and the events. 

I have blogged before about an event that they had at Miss Q's before and it is becoming a regular event  at the venue. They also have comedy nights, Live lounge nights, pool competitions and dj's playing over the weekend. 

If you are in the area and are looking for something to do or fancy playing a couple of games of pool over beers, this is the place. 

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The new Chuck Norris

So most of you read the newspaper to work and for you that don't there is a new Chuck Norris and he is in the form of a Gurkha, his name is Sgt Pun. If you know this man give him a high five from everyone in the world. 


Acting Sergeant Dipprasad Pun, 31, ran out of ammunition and at one point had to use the tripod of his machine gun to beat away a fighter climbing the walls of the compound near Babaji in Helmand Province.
The soldier fired more than 400 rounds, launched 17 grenades and detonated a mine to thwart the Taliban assault on his checkpoint last September.
Acting Sgt Pun was on sentry duty when he heard a clinking noise outside the small base.
He initially thought the noise might be a donkey or a cow but soon found it to be rebels digging a trench to lay an improvised explosive device (IED) at the checkpoint's front gate.
He realised at that point that he was completely surrounded and that the Taliban were about to launch a well-planned attempt to overrun the compound.


What a legend and for this he has received the Conspicuous Gallantry Cross. The honour is just one level down from the Victoria Cross.


I read this info from Sky News, if there is any mistakes shoot them, I am only the messanger. 


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Celebrity High Five to Justin Bieber

As some of you might know I do not follow celebrity gossip, I think it is stupid and it is for people who are brain dead and have no lives of their own and have to live through rich and stupid people but once in a while there come a person who interests me and his name is Justin Bieber

Now why am I throwing a massive high five for the chap? 

Well Justin is only 17 years old and some would say that he has conquered the world with his boyish good looks. Now Justin is punching above his weight by hooking up with a Selena Gomez. She is going to be 19 years old this year and quite fit I must say.

Now some of you might not of know this about Justin but he hired a flirting coach much like Hitch (from the movie) and it seems to be working. 

So this is why he deserves a HIGH FIVE.

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Boat Race 2011 - Summer is here

So as some of you might know this coming weekend is Boat Race 2011. So this means an awesome day out. For you who do not know Cambridge won the race in 2010 so Oxford will be gunning for victory this year.

What's the plan for Saturday. Hoping that the weather holds out for the whole day, we will be finding a sweet spot in Putney and we will be decking out an area with deck chairs, cooler box full of ice cold beer maybe a little vodka and redbull. We will have the Ipod and dock blasting all the classic tunes of the world creating the best party the world has ever seen.

So if you are in, get in touch and come and join us...



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Suns out Guns out !!!

What a day!!!. There is nothing better than opening your eyes and seeing blue sky out your window. It is the best way to wake up in the morning, well OK, the second best way to wake up in the morning. I know it is still March and it is still not officially summer but I am willing summer here and with summer in mind, I came to work in slops and it feels so much better. I did get a few weird looks on the tube / train this morning and I did have one half asleep lady stand on a toe but that was OK. 

So I would like everyone who reads this post to cross you fingers and hope this weather is here for the whole of the summer. If it stays it will be a GREAT summer but if it starts to rain it will be an OK summer. 

So what is going on this summer? What are your plans?

Here are some ideas for you to think and have a look at.....

15-17 July
Tickets cost - £28.50

25 - 26 June
Tickets cost between £59.50 - £180 - Facebook

27 - 28 August
Tickets cost - £45 + Booking fee

1 - 3 July
Tickets cost - £48.50

If you have any other date / festivals or ideas for the summer, please comment and let the world know. 

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Advertising Scarborough - I Get your business online.co.uk

I have been working in advertising for a number of years now and have dealt with different forms of advertising. Now there are a number of ways of getting your business in front of you ideal clients, some can be done for free and some you will end up paying lot for. 


I get asked by business what can I do to get my business seen and I always reply get the basics right. Now a lot of advertising companies do not offer the basics, they think that should be down to the business themselves but I have found one business that does the basics for you. I Get your business online.co.uk. They operate out of Scarborough. 


Their services range from creating a website, Facebook pages, Twitter accounts, Google places, Youtube profiles, Qype account, Foursquare, LinkedIn, Flickr and creating a blog for your business. These are the main places where potential clients are looking for business and if you are not being seen then you do not stand a chance.  


If you are a Start up business then you definitely have to speak with them and let them help you with setting up you online presence. 


To contact:
tel: 075 3131 7468
email: mrmarksimpson@gmail.com
web: click here
Facebook: click here



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Work is going all healthy..... What is the world coming to?

So as some of you might of known, my company has been rewarding us with beer and junk food for sales and hitting targets set. Now after 2 months of coke, chocolate, tubs of sweets we have one salesman who is diabetic and has to take shots of insulin on a daily basis to stay alive.

So in protest of this, the powers at be have decided that they want to get us health. So instead of getting beer as a prize you get a bottle of healthy pills, peppermint tea, yogurt coated raisins.

No as some of you might know I am not a big fan of swallowing pills, they make me gag. But the healthy option is proving to be better for the mood of the office and it is bringing the dead back to life.

The joys of Holland and Barrett - click on link for full image

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Porn made for women, by women


This is an article that I found on The Guardian Website. Interesting...... Click logo to view the article.

Independent female directors are making pornographic films aimed at women. Catalina May finds out what makes them so different



Anna Arrowsmith (aka Anna Span) has been a porn director for 12 years. This made her recent campaign as the Liberal Democrat candidate for Gravesham rather controversial. "Not my cup of tea", said Nick Clegg about her occupation. But what she has been doing is not mainstream pornography, but independent porn made for women.
"I have fought long and hard for women's right to sexual expression and consumption, as well as for freedom of speech," she wrote in the Observer. But Gail Dines, author of Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality, challenged her in the Guardian: "What are you doing that is different from what every other pornographer is doing?"
The best way to answer that question is probably by watching Arrowsmith's films. And not just hers. Because a number of women, tired of mainstream porn and tired of criticising it without offering an alternative, are making the porn films they want to watch.
These films don't include horny schoolgirls, naughty nurses, nymphomaniac nannies or desperate housewives. Nor do they include Mafiosi, multimillionaires drinking cognac, pimps, drug dealers or super-sized sex machines. Because these women, as filmmakers and consumers, place themselves far away from mainstream porn.
"It is a prejudice to say that women don't like porn," says Erika Lust, another fem porn director. "Sex images make you hot, but pornography has been made by and for men. In mainstream porn everything is about male pleasure and women are objects. Oral sex for men can last forever, but when women's turn comes it lasts 10 seconds. Female orgasms are not an issue in most of the films. And women are shown mostly as prostitutes, which is sad."
Lust has directed three porn films and written three sex books. Her website explains: "We produce adult movies. We publish erotic books and magazines. Our works speak about sex, lust and passion. We enjoy exciting you and exciting your mind. We make love, not porn. And we do all this with a feminine, aesthetic and innovative approach."
After working for 10 years as a TV producer and director, Petra Joy has moved on to directing "art-core" films. She says: "Women have a lot of catching up to do. We had the sex toy revolution first - no more giant cucumbers but a gold-plated mini vibrator perfect for clit stimulation - and now the second wave is the porn revolution: porn that is made by and for women, that focuses on female pleasure and features male sex objects."
These directors are just three among many. Their films have different styles: Lust's are urban and modern, Joy's are visual and sensory and Arrowsmith's are a bit more hardcore. But there are similarities that show how this new branch of the porn industry works.

First of all, they are educated. Lust read political sciences at Lund University, Joy has a master's degree in film history at the University of Köln and Arrowsmith studied fine art at Central Saint Martins. They do this because they chose it, and not because they don't have other options. They are all independent producers and distribute their films mostly over the internet. They pay particular attention to aesthetics, music, locations, actors and stories. And most importantly, they think about what women need to enjoy porn.
Joy says: "Women enjoy seeing a curve of arousal and like to understand why these people are having sex and how they got turned on. Women want to see credible female performers, women of all sizes and looks who genuinely enjoy themselves rather than porn clones with fake nails, hairs and boobs faking it for the camera."
Lust adds: "To get excited women want to see something that looks like us. We want to see independent women exploring their sexuality, who are not afraid, but are not sex heroines either. We want to see attractive men who share our lifestyles, our ideas."
These directors make sure they only work with people who want to perform in erotic films, and that what you see is real pleasure. Lust says: "I want people with an open sexuality who want to work here. I don't want anybody doing this because they don't have another choice. During the shooting I want them to have good sex and it's my job to find the images. For me it is a tense moment, because things happen only once and it's a moment of hard work. Is not a party behind the camera."
In 2006, Alison Lee created the Feminist Porn Awards, which this year takes place on 13-15 April in Toronto. She says: "We wanted to celebrate people who were making porn in a feminist way and help to expose them to a greater audience. For our sixth anniversary we are expecting lots of stars and a super-fun event. We are also hoping to have a stronger focus on websites and online porn than we have in the past."
Lust, Joy and Span have previously won awards in different categories. This year Lust is nominated for her last film, Life, Love, Lust, and Span for Sex Experiments: Bisexual Scenes and Sex Interviews.
These director's films are also featured on Dusk!, the Dutch porn channel that since 2007 has broadcast fem porn 24/7 and is available to 1.2m viewers. Martijn Broersma says he started the channel with the aim of providing a service that nobody else was offering.
"Nowadays women talk more about their own [sexual] likes and dislikes," he said. "With this revolution in mind, it was logical that women needed their own erotic TV channel."
And while independent fem porn keeps growing, mainstream porn is in crisis. Patrick Kwasniewski specialised in gender and queer studies at the University of Klagenfurt and is currently researching his thesis on feminist porn. He says: "The development of this branch of the industry is profiting from the internet: the more direct ways to reach consumers, easier ways of self-distribution, having a more focused target and producing highly profiled films. Whilst the mainstream industry faces loss of profits through not changing their traditional ways of production or distribution and producing very repetitive films that have more and more troubles on the market, especially when there's so much for free on the internet."
Joy adds: "The industry is slowly waking up to the fact that it is not just VOD [Video on Demand] that caused the drop in porn DVD sales, but that even males are bored of films that always show the same performers in the same studios going through the same sexual positions in the same running order and looking bored whilst faking it. People are hungry for more authenticity, variety and joy."
Being part of this industry that refuses to change hasn't always been easy for female porn directors. Male members of the porn industry don't necessarily like their presence. Lust says: "Pornographers are usually middle-aged straight guys, with a similar cultural background. They don't like it when I say that I make porn for women. They say their porn is for everybody and I am the 'tight' one. But I just can't have an intellectual discussion with them, because they don't measure up. What I'm doing is criticising the kind of porn they have been making for years and offering an alternative."
There are no reliable figures on female porn audiences, but there are some academic studies that provide some information. Verena Chiara Kuckenberger is responsible for gender at the University of Graz, and she did a study on women's porn that included audience research.
She says: "Research suggests that women are not as interested in pornography as men are. But this assumption has to be seen in a broader context – there are certain scripts for male and female sexuality and one of these says that women don't find pleasure in looking as man do. But who looks and who gets looked at is a question of power as well. Historically the gaze is male, while women are objects that are being looked at.
"For women to admit to experiencing pleasure in watching pornography means overcoming stereotypes about female sexuality. There are women who do not want to consume pornography, but at the same time there is a potential female audience for porn and I would say it is bigger than it has been assumed so far and it is increasing as our society overcomes gendered stereotypes in general."
Keeping all this in mind, I asked Arrowsmith how she feels about the controversy about her work. She said: "I have received very good responses from the press, the readers and the general public. Now, I want to join together my political work and the work I do in the porn industry. I'm going to start campaigning for sex workers' rights and encouraging women to fight for what they deserve."

Bar 366 - Bars in Earlsfield

Bars in Earlsfield

After a few weekends out in Earlsvegas, I thought I would give my opinion of another bar that I have been drinking in, Bar 366. Now you would never catch me in the bar before 12pm at night. It has never for me been a beginning of the night bar but always an end of the night bar due to their late license.

So the time is 00.34, we have just left one bar and are looking to carry on the night. We arrive at Bar 366, we are welcomed in and you see the bar, mirrors, people dancing, and from your initial view it seems like a long bar but it is deceiving. You order you drinks accompanied with a Jaeger bomb or 2. We all head to the dance carry enough booze to get an Irish sailor drunk. Now this is when the night really gets messy. The dj's pushing the over played dance tunes but that is OK as you do not care and you start shaking hoof.

From that point , I do not know why but I seem to lose memories of the night but from the pictures that are always taken prove that we have a good night.

If you are about and need a place to finish the night, I would recommend that you have a drink there. If you have drunk there in the early part of the night, please comment and let us know you thoughts.

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Jamie Eason - What an athlete

I come to you today with a bio of an athlete. She was brought to my attention by an average bangist but one who has a keen eye for talent. He sent me an image for Booty Friday and I was shocked and I sat in awe of the talents of this lady. So I though I would share her top all of you.

Her name is Jamie Eason. A former NFL Cheerleader and winner of the World's Fittest Model competition. An achievement in it's own right. She has been the featured subject and cover girl on many fitness and women’s magazines. 


Now I would like to share some images of Jamie so you can see what I am talking about and see for you self how great an athlete she is. I have also added a video for you to have a look at below the pictures. Hold onto your chairs....












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All Thingz Green - Landscapers Richmond

All Thingz Green - Landscaper Richmond

Now I know we are all getting excited and you can feel the excitement in the air, summer is coming. Now this means a lot to a lot of different people. If you are going on holiday it means that you are getting in shape and going to gym. For home owners it is all about getting you garden back in shape. Now this can mean many things from garden clearances to re-planting bed to general garden maintenance. 

Now one thing that the UK is not short of is landscapers but what they are short of is quality landscapers. Now out of all the landscapers that I have come across, All Thingz Green seems to be a cut above the rest. A business that is built around recommendation and word of mouth. 

All Thingz Green offer a wide variety of services to achieve a high quality design. Their services are for both residential and commercial property and include:


  • General garden maintenance of your property including - mowing of lawns, path clearance, tree surgery, pruning and weeding



  • Landscape Gardening, including - Detailed soft and hard garden design, plants placement and selection, border design and more



  • Irrigation systems - Automatic watering systems



  • Professional Garden Design- A dedicated design service to change or implement a brand new design for your garden



  • To contact:
    Jan Versfeld: 07835 580638
    Email: jan@allthingzgreen.co.uk

    What is Scabenga Nights I hear you ask....

    What is Scabenga Nights I hear you ask....

    Scabenga is now offering a guest list services for some of London's top clubs. The clubs that we are working with at the moment are Runway, The Mayfair Club, Carbon Bar and Funkybuddha. Please click on the clubs name to get more information. 

    Why use a guest list service? Most clubs in London range from 250 - 450 capacity and in most cases there are more that that wanting to get into the club. Using a promoter to get into a club gives you many of advantages. 

    1 - You do not have to queue to get it. Go straight to the front and say you are on the list.
    2 - If you are a group get special treatment by getting tables designated for you. 
    3 - we do all the hard work making you night a hell of a good one. 

    So if you are interested in going to a club for a birthday or just looking for a good night out get in touch and lets make it happen. 

    Email: guestlist@scabenga.co.uk
    Guestlist: click here

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    Scabenga - Saturdays at Funkybuddha

    Scabenga - Saturdays at Funkybuddha


    funkybuddha is the epitome of all that today’s affluent London club goer requires.
    From it’s location in the salubrious Mayfair; to the varying degrees of privacy that the venue offers, with tables available in exclusive areas or even private rooms, it provides the quintessential evening experience for the more discerning guest.


    funkybuddha has been imagined, designed and created to provide a unique and innovative destination venue. funkybuddha provides a setting that offers customers plenty of sophistication and a sense of exclusivity, with a cocktail list of popular classics and exciting modern alternatives and a food menu offering modern interpretations of Chinese cuisine available throughout the evening.


    Information:
    Address: 15 Berkeley Street, Mayfair, W1J 8DY
    When: Every Saturday Night
    Times: 10pm – 3am
    Dress: Smart/Trendy (No Casual Wear)
    Entry: Ladies free before 11pm | £20 Otherwise
    Music: RnB/Funkyhouse/Club Classics



    To book for Funkybuddha, please fill out the Guestlist Form

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    Scabenga - Saturdays at Carbon Bar

    Scabenga - Saturdays at Carbon Bar



    Carbon fuses an urban industry style design with the exclusive glamorous surroundings of The Cumberland Hotel, casino’s and it’s Mayfair location.
    It is divided into several seating areas, so is perfect for a private birthday party or just a great night out. Parking is also very easy as it is right next to NCP car parks.
    Table bookings are recommended for fast track entry.



    Information:
    Address: Old Quebec Street, London W1C 1LZ
    When: Every Saturday Night
    Times: 10pm – 3am
    Dress: Smart/Trendy (No Casual Wear)
    Entry: Free for Girls before 11:00pm, £15 on special Nights. £15 Gents Every Week
    Music: RnB/Funkyhouse/Club Classics




    To book for Carbon Bar, please fill out the Guestlist Form

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    Scabenga - Fridays at The Mayfair Club

    Scabenga - Fridays at The Mayfair Club

    When the weekend arrives, the lights go down and the music goes up as the best DJ’s from around town come down and transform The Mayfair Club.
    Whether it’s simply coming down to party on the floor until the early hours, or reserving that V.I.P table and making it a night you won’t forget, we’re sure you won’t be disappointed.



    Information:
    Address: The Mayfair Club, 49-50 Dover Street, London, W1S 4NY
    When: Every Friday Night
    Times: 10pm – 3am
    Dress: Smart/Trendy (No Casual Wear)
    Entry: Free for Girls before 11:00pm, £20 after. £20 Gents Every Week
    Music: RnB/Funkyhouse/Club Classics




    To book for The Mayfair Club, please fill out the Guestlist Form

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    Scabenga - Thursdays at Runway

    Scabenga - Thursdays at Runway

    The club has attracted some of the biggest names behind the discs and we believe that having experienced DJs can make a good night into a truly memorable one.
    Regardless of the occasion, the Runway’s range of events will suit everybody and the party simply doesn’t stop.

    The club can hold 430 capacity and also has several areas available for private hire, private booths, tables and The White Room which is completely exclusive and has a waterfall entrance.
    Whatever you requirements, Scabenga will be able to offer advice in arranging your night.

    Information:
    Address: 55 New Oxford Street, London, WC1A 1BS
    When: Every Thursday Night
    Times: 10pm – 3am
    Dress: Smart/Trendy (No Casual Wear)
    Entry: Free for Girls before 11pm, £20 after. £20 Gents Every Week
    Music: RnB/Funkyhouse/Club Classics

    To book for Runway, please fill out the Guestlist Form

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    Scabenga Nights

    Scabenga has joined forces with some of London top promoters as well as London's top clubs. If you are looking to party at the best clubs why not do it with Scabenga. If you are celebrating a birthday or just want to have a good night out get in touch and let us get you in. 
    We are currently working with Carbon Bar, Runway, The Mayfair Club and Funkybuddha.

    Why use a guest list service? Most clubs in London range from 250 - 450 capacity and in most cases there are more that that wanting to get into the club. Using a promoter to get into a club gives you many of advantages. 




    1 - You do not have to queue to get it. Go straight to the front and say you are on the list.
    2 - If you are a group get special treatment by getting tables designated for you. 
    3 - we do all the hard work making you night a hell of a good one. 

    So if you are interested in going to a club for a birthday or just looking for a good night out get in touch and lets make it happen. 
    If there is a club that you would like top go to and it is not here. Please get in touch and we will get you in. 
    Partying Scabenga Style


    Do not forget to like our Facebook Page

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    Scabenga - The new era of me

    Now the hangover has gone and I am into my first day of being 29, I have been thinking about where I am and what I am doing with myself and a few noticeable areas have been flagged up and are needing some TLC and accessing my situation. 

    Some of you might know I have been in a bit of a weird place and this is due to a number of factors, some personal and some work oriented. So as of now I will be addressing these quite strongly. I have come to the conclusion that I should not be sad or depressed about them and I must look to the future and I should focus on the silver lining rather than the grey cloud. Now I have already started changing my ways of thinking, the ways of doing business and how I address my personal life. More details to come as they unfold. 

    Also I have been thinking about what the hell am I doing in the UK? I have been here over 9 years now and to be honest I have had enough of it. The weather is shit, the place is way to expensive, I am not moving forward in terms of business so I am thinking I might look else where. I am not saying that if I move to another country I will get a career, what I am saying is that the idea of being in a new country will excite me to strive to enjoy life again because I have not been enjoying for the past 6 month or so. Now I have not decide that I am leaving yet but I will be getting my affairs in place to move soon...... more to be announced as it unfolds. 

    With regards to going out as well, I will be cutting this down as well. I am not getting anything from going to bars, getting drunk and waking up with a hangover and finding out that you have wasted a lot of money for nothing. So as of now I will only go out once a month for a general drink and if there is an occasion. I think there are a few people in the same boat but do get in contact if you have any exciting ideas but do not call me to come out and drink for no special reason. 

    This is all for now.... x

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    March 2010 - Collage


    Here is a collage of my trip to Zimbabwe in March of last year. 

    Good Times...
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    So it has been a last time from my last post....

    So it has been a last time from my last post. So much to say so little time to write.. 

    So it is the calm before the storm. No drinking tonight as tomorrow is going to be a long and hopefully fruitful day. Lots of sport to watch and from what I am being told by the man at The Wandle the beer is cold. Just to remind all who does not know, we will be starting at around 2 - 2.30pm ish. The rugby starts at 2.30pm. 

    What else has been going on? My task of getting on Google for Bars in Earlsfield is done and I am happy. Quiet easy to do when you know what is going on. Now I have set myself a new task and I will come to you with more details in the future. 

    As the summer is coming up, The Body of Zeus is coming back into action. Gyming a lot and will unveil it soon when the suns out. Suns out, Guns out!!! 

    Some good reading for you about the infamous Chuck Norris

    Riddle for you: 
    An Arab sheikh tells his two sons to race their camels to a distant city to see who will inherit his fortune. The one whose camel is slower wins. After wandering aimlessly for days, the brothers ask a wise man for guidance. Upon receiving the advice, they jump on the camels and race to the city as fast as they can.
    What did the wise man say to them?

    Answer: The wise man told them to switch camels

    Chuckisms: The way of a Legend

    There is no theory of Evolution, Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

    In the Bible Jesus turned water into wine.  But the Chuck Norrs turned that wine into beer. 

    Time waits for no man.  Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your decendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell " what the hell was that?!"

    There are no steroids in baseball.  Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.  Too bad he has never cried.

    Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger by yelling "Bang!"

    Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.  We know this beverage as Red BUll

    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble you win, Forever.

    The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris can't do: .

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    Chuck Norris isn't funny.  Stop Laughing.

    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

    When Chuck Norris falls into the water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, The water gets Cuchk Norris.

    When God said "Let there be light" Chuck Norris said "Say Please"

    If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you. 

    Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

    Guns don't kill people.  Chuck Norris Kills people.

    Crop Circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

    Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in only three moves. 

    Chuck Norris (period)

    Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009, his flower will be the Magnolia

    Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that rounhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.  This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    Teenage Mutan Ninja Turtles is based on a true story.  Chuck Norris oncw swallowed  a turtle whole and when he crapped it out it was six feet tall and had learned karate.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse...horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
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